RETURN OF THE FAT-I

I had been really excited when I weighed myself Saturday morning and found that I had lost an entire pound last week. It had been this pesky pound that I kept gaining and then losing and then gaining again. But last week it had finally stayed off. I had gone an entire week without seeing that number go up.

I’ve been extremely hard on myself trying to get into the 150s. I haven’t been in that weight bracket since I was freshly out of highschool. It’s not my entended final goal weight but its still a bracket I’ve been dying to be in. So when I finally lost that pound I felt like I was closer and closer to that beautiful number of 159…hey it’s in the 150s right?

But then life decided to give me a little smack in the face. I woke up this morning excited to weight myself (I usually weigh myself twice a week just to see what track I’m on. I realize this is probably a bad idea but um…fuck it.). So I made sure to pee (those are extra pounds I dont need to see on the scale). Took off every piece of clothing I could think of. Placed my scale in the exact same spot on the exact same tile I use every time. Made sure it was at the exact angle I always place.  I know it sounds crazy but I’m all about consistency and I’ll be damned if some un-leveled tile throws me off my groove. I get on the scale and…..

IT’S BACK!! THAT DAMN ONE POUND HAS RETURNED

You’re probably thinking to yourself don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s just one pound..oh yea? Is that what you think?

THIS IS WHAT ONE POUND OF FAT LOOKS LIKE!

 

Ugh!! I don’t know what else to do about that effin pound! It’s like it’s all I think about now. Today all day, everything I look at is like…will you bring upon me another pound of death?

 

A Weekend of Shame

I was hoping with all hope that I would be able to maintain my will power throughout the weekend but that proved to be more difficult than I had originally intended. Saturday morning was amazing. I went straight to the scale and noticed that I had lost 1.3 lbs since last week. Which may not seem like a lot to some but to me that’s huge and also a healthy way of losing the weight. Trust me if I could be thin over night I would but truth is my bad habits would just ruin it all again. So my weekend of shame…it all started with a delicious beer on Saturday night. See running a venue and having shows until the wee hours of the morning and stay on my diet is rather difficult. Especially when it comes to the drinking department. I love me some liquid courage and celebratory clings of glasses as we cheer to a successful evening.

I once again saved my points for a few drinks however I did not take into account that after 4 hours of non stop running, dancing, screaming and pacing I would of course need to eat something. I tried to order the healthiest thing on the food truck menu but I finally had to use the Weight Watchers “weekly” points which I had done good not to tap into since starting.

I could hear little voices in my head saying “That wasn’t bad but make sure you run a little extra tomorrow or go for an extra mile on your bike ride”. And so I thought, you know what…one little slip isn’t going to kill me.

But then Sunday came and with it came tons and tons of rain which had me like:

Well, not exactly. Because it was more like:

I couldn’t go for a bike ride, I couldn’t go for a run. NOTHING. I longed to go outside. I often walked up to the window and laid my hand upon the glass begging for it to stop. I knew if I stayed inside without any kind of outdoor activity I was doomed. See, I don’t know about you guys but when I’m bored, I eat. It doesn’t matter what. I just eat. I get up walk to the kitchen look in the pantry for nothing in particular but I just grab something and eat it. I also have a tendency of getting bored rather quickly. Its why I always need to be on the goal or have something planned. But unfortunately I would end up doomed because it did not stop raining ALL DAY. (Thank you Miami! ).

So I tried to eat healthy for breakfast and lunch. I continued my “burpee” training throughout the day (although I did miss one or 2 just because I wasn’t near my phone until the 2nd message came in). But snacks….snacks were the death of me.

Burp…BEER!

So I knew this evening was coming. I had been invited to celebrate AUSSIE DAY with some friends. (We have an Australian friend in town). My wonderful friends had planned a night of drinking at a local World of Beer. We figured we would t
ry and be as AUSSIE as we could to help her feel some what at home. Apparently while their flag is the same colors as ours their National colors are gold and green. I’m pretty sure those who saw us at the bar originally thought we were die hard Packers fans refusing to admit to defeat lol.

 

Now you may not know this but I love beer as much as I love nuggets. Well…maybe not as much but pretty damn close. Since I knew this going in…I planned for it. I saved my points and made sure that I gave myself a limit. I cooked my dinner before leaving and had nothing but protein so that I wouldn’t feel so quilty.

 ONLY TWO BEERS I said to my friends…and myself.

As soon as I ordered my first beer I got a lovely text message reminding me to drop and do some BURPEES. Now of course I could’ve answered that I had done them and never really did. But 1. i hate to lie and 2. I’m really only damaging myself with that one in a long run. I’ve decided to be committed to this so that means being real and honest. I could’ve opted not to do them. Enjoy the time I had with my friends but what was 2 minutes? So I said fuck it…and right there, outside the bar, I dropped and did my 10 burpees of the evening.

Then as promised I ordered and had my second beer and didn’t feel like a complete failure for enjoying it. 

 

So far…so good…so slow…so sore!

So I have no been “dieting” ugh I hate that word. Let’s try I have been on a lifestyle adjustment period for approximately 3 weeks now and I have to say. It’s not going too bad. I’ve had a few bumps in the rode but I have been able to notice a difference not only in my figure (not much but some..hey remember its only been 3 weeks) but also in my attitude. That, to me is HUGE.

Of course the normal thing is always feeling more energized. This indeed has happened to me. But what’s surprising to me is how much more positive I feel about the world (which right now is a pretty shitty place) and those around me. I’m not so much on edge all the time. I live my life on the edge and im always ready to pounce. But since sticking to a workout routine and letting my energy out in a healthy fashion I feel like I’m a little more at ease. I’m a little more patient. I’m a little more….just ok with life and stress.

My anxiety has been at bay. I think that’s because my focus is on so many other things right now. Plus I’m keeping myself busy. My anxiety attacks whenever it wants but what perpetuates it is me. I usually can’t do anything but think about the anxiety. But now I’m focused on tracking my food, what I’m going to make for dinner, how am I going to schedule my workout today with the rest of the stuff on my task list. I think having something else to focus on and use my energy on has helped me in really just feeling better.

Now I’m not saying I still don’t  have my bad moments or anxious episodes but they are different as of late. They don’t last as long. Or I just keep pedaling thru it and distract myself with burpees.

I’m still at the same weight I was last week. I’m not sure if its because I’ve started to gain some muscle or because of the extreme drinking I did over the weekend. But I’m just happy to report I haven’t gained any weight. I did lose some weight in my fingers as my wedding band is now starting to slip.

I’ve also been doing the oh so famous #Burpees every day. But rather than trying to get a bunch done in the morning and all at once. I’ve been spreading them out throughout the day with the help of a friend. Which means that by the time I go to bed I’ve done about 80-100 burpees for the day. Today I can totally feel it. Although I now find myself trying to find hiding places at my job that I can do them without people thinking I have entirely lost my mind.

 

BurpThese!

So I’ve been trying to get rid of my gut. I am a person after all who truly enjoys chicken nuggets and most importantly BEER. So I’ve got the beer belly of a college frat boy and I’m trying to figure out ways to reduce it. I dream of definition.

My entire life no matter how skinny I ever was I never had a flat belly. Never had those beautiful cuts. I avoided sit-ups and crunches like the plague. Now that I’m older I know that I need to work on my core. Since beginning this fitness journey I’ve been waking up and doing crunches. I do them until it hurts. But I’ve realized that I don’t feel it much after that. Also, I’m watching the numbers go down on the scale but not my actually belly size.

So I went to Facebook yesterday and asked everyone for some tips on at home workouts that can help with strengthening my core and helping get rid of the gut. I got a lot of good ideas, some sent me videos but MOST…MOST said BURPEES. That was it. One word and it came from enough people that I was like well damn…I guess I should try doing burbpees in the morning instead of crunches.

So this morning I wake up all excited. Looked at videos of the beginner and intermediate way of doing burpees all last night and I was super pumped. Then….I started….and soon I realized.

I’M A WEAKLING!!

Of course I’ve warned you I’m an all or nothing kind of person and I seem to have a distorted concept of how fit I am because I skipped over the beginner version and went straight hard-core full on Crossfit professional mode and realized I can’t do shit right now. I was lucky to get 1 semi hard core burpee executed correctly. So with my head down in shame I decided it was time to be real and start with the beginner burpees.

I did as many of them as I could. Which if I’m being honest wasn’t many. I was huffing and puffing pretty early. Given its level of difficulty and my inability to actually  get a good set in this is definitely something I’ll be adding to my workout routine.

I WILL NOT BE TAKEN DOWN BY THE BURPEE

 

H2-NO

I know that a HUGE part of losing weight and being healthy is drinking LOTS of water. I have tried everything possible.

I’ve purchased different kinds of water bottles to see if that would make it easier.

I’ve tried getting cool water tracker apps that make a game of it and set reminders on my phone.

I’ve tried walking around with a gallon of water so it’s in my face at all times.

Nothing…nothing works. 

I’m always short and not by just a few glasses but by a significant amount.

If anyone has tips on how I can be sure to get the right amount of water intake I would greatly appreciate it.

It’s like my body just gets to a certain point and says NO…NO MORE. You’ve had a whole 4 glasses of water and that’s more than enough.

One Notch to Rule Them All

I am happy to announce that although it may not be much, I have finally been able to move my belt ONE NOTCH!!

Can you see the strain i put on that notch? It’s like the little belt that could…or couldn’t anymore.